What does it mean to be pro-life? For me it meant carrying my baby to term even though the doctors told me to abort him. They saw in my 20 week scan that his kidneys had problems and if they weren’t producing enough amniotic fluid, his lungs would not fully develop. As long as he was inside me he was fine. I could filter his blood and breathe for him – but they were not encouraging about his chances after he was born, and there were other complications. They found substantial fibroids in my uterus in my 8 week scan, so they thought a C-section would be necessary, and they didn’t think that was be worth it for a baby who was not viable. They wanted me to do the procedure as soon as possible so he would be smaller and it would be easier. They really believed abortion was the best choice for our family as it would mitigate my physical healing time, and we could try for another child sooner.
I struggled with this choice, because if I couldn’t breath, I wouldn’t want that experience to be prolonged – but there’s a big difference between letting nature take its course, and injecting something into his heart to stop it, andthen inducing labour 
Holding on to hope for a miracle, I cherished every day I could have with my son safely inside me. Classic Asian Mom – we never make our kids move out ;p 
Did he suffer more as he took his last breath in my arms? I don’t know, but today I say being pro-life is this: valuing life no matter how long or how productive it is. My son was not perfect, but neither am I. He could not have survived without help, but the same is true of all of us -we all needed help. Carrying him and birthing him wasn’t easy, but he was worth it.
I am so grateful I got to see his beautiful little face with eyes so much like mine and mouth and chin just like his dad’s (totally perfect and unsquished because he came out bum and foot first 😉 His crying was the best sound I’d ever had the privilege of hearing, because it meant he was alive!
This is the Love of a Parent. This is the Love of The Father. Even when we had nothing to offer, it was worth it to Him to carry us, to carry our cross anddie taking the punishment for all the ways we’ve messed up. He says you are worth it, and He looks at you the same way I looked at my son – with so much love, so proud of who you are
When labour was terrible at the end I kept asking God for help, and I felt Him say “Yes,” – of course He would help me. The pain did not diminish, but looking back I was unbelievably helped! At one time we counted fourteen medical professionals in the room. I was literally picked up and put on the birthing bar when I was so exhausted that I could barely move. They pushed my iliac crests together to open up my pelvis, and continually said encouraging things.
In the weeks that followed, people brought food – setting up a meal train for us that quickly filled. One of my best friends even flew over from Calgary to attend the funeral. My parents and in-laws both gave us substantial gifts, so we had nothing to worry about when it came to funeral costs. Also, one of the massage therapists who was working at my clinic used to work in the funeral industry, so he was able to give us good counsel and walk us through that process.
Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
I don’t know what choices or struggles you’re facing, but I do know this -cry out to Him and God will help you. You are His child and He loves the sound of your cries. It may not be the way you hoped help would come, but He will come through for you. I still believe it. I will see my son again, and until then He is safe in the arms of our Heavenly Father.